So the whole Leno/Conan thing has played out, partially at least, and has proven that while Leno may be an asshole and incompetent, really it is the Producers at NBC who are incompetent assholes.
Case in point: tonight's (Sunday) new program
I really don't care enough to know the actual title of the show, but I'll say all that needs to be said -- Guy Fieri; game show host.
I should also mention at this time that this show contains no cooking whatsoever (at least on purpose, I do suppose incidental cooking may happen). At least when NBC game Emeril his own show in 2001 (full disclosure, i actually like Emeril and his cooking/cooking programs) it was a sitcom that was about his life as a chef (I think, I only really watched an episode or two, hey, "Emeril Live" was on).
This proves my theory that guy fieri knows little to nothing about cooking. He does seem to be able to turn knobs to operate ranges and ovens, but it's hard to tell if he knows what he's doing with it.
"Today I'm gonna throw at you some 8-pepper infused chili burgers, with a side of potato salad on some classic chawhola rolls"
"This appears to be a burnt meat patty on a chewy roll with a tub of mayonaise sitting next to it"
"And to go with it, I know y'all like whiskey sours, so how 'bout we add some grenadine and pineapple juice to it"
"Fuck"
-- Just a typical scene from his "cooking" show (I put it in quotes because half the show seems to be devoted to taking a fruity, girly drink, somehow making it girlier, and claiming it goes with the "meal" he's creating).
Moving on.
He doesn't really know what he's doing inside a kitchen, but it's clear the man eats, so they decide to send him on a trip to lots of backwater local "diners, drive-ins, and dives" and watch him pig out. Seriously, the man will eat anything.
"The secret, guy, is instead of using 4 slices of bacon on our burgers, we use 6. We also mix some lard in the ground beef to make it juicier" "Oh man, I can tell, it really makes a difference. I'll take 5" "Umm, what about the rest of our menu?" "Oh we got time, we'll get there, no worries"
--Again, typical.
Notice the backwards sunglasses, to scare off the ghosts of animals who swore to haunt him once they found out what would be done with their meat. Some corn too, I hear that stuff walks nowadays. Regardless, you know they're no longer gonna be transparent once they go over his eyes due to all the hair gel and bleach residue. It's really a deadly combination.
Maybe it's just his personality and his dress. He comes off as that loud fat kid who tried being likable by wearing gaudy clothes and having eating contests with himself.
"Check it, son, I'm on my A-game. I just ate 2 whole pizzas in 10 minutes. Man, I am gonna slow dance with so many girls tonight. Yo, dudes, "Halo" at my place later? Cool, cool."
--How I imagine his thought process goes.
Maybe I'm just curious, how has he become a face of America, and how serious is the threat he may become the face of America.
-- Knuttel
P.S. how did he manage to make goatees more douchey? I'm actually kind of impressed by that.
What is music? Besides a simple collection of notes or sounds or whatever, I think the answer is always personal. It has more to do with how one was introduced to music, how one listened to music, what they were exposed to; a list of likes and dislikes is never really quite simple.
For example: I hate Creed, but damnit if their first album isn't genius. Shit, I even have the two after that, in hopes they could re-catch that somehow. Alas, the singer was a douche.
For me music has always been about movement. I think it started in my middle school years. I had been subjected to painfully long busrides starting in 4th grade, and had a cd player in 5th (that I was subsequently banned from taking to school due to repeating harmless, though explicit, lyrics from a band I haven't listened to since, 311), so 6th grade was when this really started to expand and grow. It was also when I decided to pick up the guitar (fuck you high school and collegiate posers who only know the chords to "wonderwall", oasis sucks anyway). This connection just naturally developed. I was in motion and the music went in motion. The music went in motion as I went in motion. This would happen for hours a day, five days a week, all school year long.
And so naturally I gravitated to music that had a well defined notion of motion. Metal became an obvious choice for my middle school self, though naturally listening to rock radio of the late 90's, Metallica and Sabbath were often supplanted by Ozzy, Smashing Pumpkins, a slew of post-grunge bands, and the one blur album with "that woohoo song".
High School came along and naturally that led to more musical exploration. Again I had a painfully long bus ride, though only the return trip (we had to wait outside a different school for about an hour to pick those kids up). Metal was explored further, though often only nominally. Post-grunge quickly gave way to classic rock. Pink Floyd introduced me to atmospheric music, which is when I learned of my synesthesia. Atmospheric music introduced me to Radiohead. Radiohead introduced me to britpop. I refound my old blur cd(s I actually had 13 also, in anticipation of another "woohoo song") and subsequently found the entire blur catalog, just in time for their next release, Think Tank. In time I went back and searched for music from the original britpop band, The Beatles.
College came and I found jazz, which is nothing but movement. There is always a chord progression or a note progression or a scale progression. Something is always going on. Even in Free Jazz, it's just different kind of movements, movements of colors, shapes, feelings. Thus Jazz is "faster" than any kind metal, thrash, speed or otherwise.
Speaking of metal, this is also when the actual deep diving into the metal world began. What I listened to in middle school was but a wading. Funny thing is even then I knew hair metal sucked.
But all of this music I had listened to, all of it had a sense of motion to it, a sense of time, whether strict or abstract. Good music to me always knew when to move, how fast to move, when to stay still, for how long should it stay still, etc. "Echoes" has long been my favorite Pink Floyd song, because at the bridge, it simply just stops for 10 minutes, exploring its own cavernous space, and echoes itself back into the verse and chorus.
And for the music, a song which actually moves remarkably slow, which suits it much better than one would think.
-- Knuttel
PS. the current singer/songwriter who probably has the best sense of this is Lady GaGa.
This unit of time's entry is brought to us by Mastodon (under the presumptive influence of it's drummer, Brann Dailor)
Oblivion -- from Crack the Skye
I flew beyond the sun before it was time burning all the gold that held me inside my shell waiting for you to pull me back in i almost had the world in my sight
lost love . bright eyes, fading . faster than stars falling
how can I tell you that I failed?
Falling from grace cause I've been away too long leaving you behind with my lonesome song now I'm lost in oblivion
I tried to burrow a hole into the ground breaking all the fingers and the nails from my hand the eyes of a child see no wrong ignorant bliss, impending doom
Lost love . bright eyes, fading . faster than stars falling
how can I tell you that I failed?
Falling from grace cause I've been away too long leaving you behind with my lonesome song now I'm lost in
falling from grace cause I've been away too long leaving you behind with my lonesome song now I'm lost in oblivion
Yes, the greatest show in award season finally arrived and told us all what we should have been listening to for the past year, per the requests of the record labels.
Seriously though, the grammies are single-handedly the most corrupt and therefore least trustworthy of all the award shows. It is the largest "pat yourself on the back" show of the entire award season. If I wanted to watch something give themselves a huge blowjob, I'd take a few yoga classes and then videotape myself.
Anyways, I shall do a rundown of every single award, maybe.
Album of the Year: Raising Sand - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss -Hey, look everyone! Robert Plant is still making music! Maybe if we give him an award he'll get Led Zeppelin back together. Who's gonna bring back John Bonham? Or are we just gonna use his son again?
Rap Album: Tha Carter III - Lil Wayne -With all the hype his formulaic Family Guy Simile lyrics have gotten him over the past few years, he had to get it.
Male Pop Vocal Performance: Say - John Mayer -He's like the next Eric Clapton! Except instead of Eric Clapton circa 1966-1975, he's more Eric Clapton circa 1992-now. Notice that includes that song from Jerry MacGuire that doesn't really use lyrics, but rather clipped dialogue from the movie.
Record of the Year: Please Read The Letter - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss -2 awards for Robert Plant, surely he must bring the Led out again!
New Artist: Adele -White soul singer beats out the J Bros. Well, at least they can still win once they go solo.
Rock Album: Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends - Coldplay -Coldplay, what the hell happenned to you? Those first two albums were amazing, if not at least above average, and ever since then (I'm gonna blame Gwynneth Paltrow), you've become completely hollow epic crap. Good thing the Grammies love stuff that sounds like it could be meaningful.
Pop Collaboration With Vocals: Rich Woman - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss -Robert Plant again.
Song of the Year: Viva La Vida - Coldplay -I seriously have a huge problem with this song. This song is the definition of anti-climacticism. It has such a huge build-up and then IT NEVER GOES ANYWHERE. I never thought I could get blue balls from a song, but I have a feeling this one could. Also running for this award was the most pathetic attempt at music I've ever seen, in the form of Jason Mraz. Bastardizing everything he touches, most likely unintentionally, but if this happens to be intentional, then -- my god, what a supervillain we have on our hands.
R&B Album: Jennifer Hudson - Jennifer Hudson -OMG, like her family totally died last year. Let's give her an award so she'll feel better. ok, not to feel like a totally awful person, I'll stop that there. But seriously, I watched the Puppy Bowl national anthem over hers, then again I watched the entire Puppy Bowl over the entire super bowl. hmmmm.
Producer of the Year, Non-Classical: Rick Rubin -Dude, he's like totally responsible for Metallica's revival as a REAL METAL BAND. Not a bad argument on the surface, except anything redeemable from that album sounds a bit too much like either Slayer or the Sword. Wait, Slayer, who produced most of Slayer's albums, ... oh yeah ... it was Rick Rubin! Rick Rubin's inability to determine when songs are different strikes again (see Dani California - red hot chili peppers ; Last Dance With Mary Jane - Tom Petty)
Producer of the Year, Classical: David Frost -I feel as though his last name should be Pendergrast. Don't ask why. Frost seems boring. Pendergrast is boring, but at least seems otherwise.
Female Pop Vocal Performance: Chasing Pavements - Adele -Just sounds like a trainwreck. It's probably alot like that scottish chick from a few years ago that played something barely resembling early bluesish music while being like a one man band, so people thought it was new and inventive, when it just sucked.
Pop Vocal Album: Rockferry - Duffy -She's English so she must be good at music. Oh, and her name resembles that of Hilary Duff. Bonus points. Let's give her an award.
Pop Instrumental Performance: I Dreamed There Was No War - Eagles -I was unaware the Eagles were still making music. I'll have to file this under the Jethro Tull getting the metal grammy file (contrary to popular belief, Jethro Tull is metal, they just weren't relevant for about 10 years).
Pop Instrumental Album: Jingle All the Way - Bela Fleck & The Flecktones -Bela Fleck, Victor Wooten, and Futureman plus the title of the greatest holiday movie ever? SCORE
Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals: Viva La Vida - Coldplay -Like I said before. This song is the definition of anti-climactic. While these guys were never really that poignant, they now have about the same poignancy as Zack Braf. That's right -- none.
Alternative Music Album: In Rainbows - Radiohead -A mediocre album made by an awesome band running against a weak field. While I don't find it deserving, the others were far less deserving.
Solo Rock Vocal Performance: Gravity - John Mayer -Solo Rock Vocal. Two of those words I could use to describe John Mayer. One of them I most certainly could not. Take a wild guess which one. Oh, I know. It's solo, cos he has a backing band! no comment. side comment -- beat out four men clearly living on their past identities and successes. Funny part is I'd consider them all rock. -- Bruce, Eddie vedder, Neil Young, and Paul playing an old Beatles song (presumably without even Ringo).
Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals: Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon -Anonymous Indy act beats out AC/DC and the Eagles to prove the grammies are edgy. Bonus points for beating Coldplay's other song and and Radiohead? no. you can't fool me grammies.
Hard Rock Performance: Wax Simulacra - The Mars Volta -Hard Rock Performance officially means -- how much feedback can you incorporate into a song, mainting that it stays out of key, and still plan on calling it music.
Metal Performance: My Apocalypse - Metallica -Metallica quickly became irrelevant once they began playing rock instead of metal (though they continued to win metal grammies, cos c'mon, they're metallica) so they decide to simply steal the sounds from metal bands which have been relavent since the release of St. Anger. To those who only listen to Metallica, it sounds awesome and original and like Metallica is back in the game. To everyone else, we just nod our heads in dissappointment. How did Cliff's death seriously hurt the band that much? I mean Jason Newstead and Rob Trujillo are good bassists? Why the hell isn't it working?
Rock Instrumental Performance: Peaches En Regalia - Zappa Plays Zappa -Ah the Zappa family. When in doubt, give the award to whatever you don't understand.
Rock Song: Girls in Their Summer Clothes - Bruce Springsteen -While I'm not saying Bruce is washed up (far from it actually), clearly his best songwriting days are behind him. Surely there must be some other band to whom we can give this award to. No, we can't even completely fill out the ballot? Hmmm, I geuss we can fill death cab for cutie onto the ballot, make it look nice and full.
Rap Solo Performance: A Milli - Lil Wayne -seriously a week field this year.
Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: Swagga Like Us - Jay-Z and T.I. featuring Kanye West and Lil Wayne -Jay-Z, Kanye, AND Lil Wayne? How could we say no?!
Rap/Sung Collaboration: American Boy - Estelle featuring Kanye West -Kanye is still gonna find a way to complain about not getting enough respect for his work.
Rap Song: Lollipop - Dwayne Carter, Darius Harrison, James Scheffer, Stephen Garrett and Rex Zamor, -I refuse to recognize this song as existing, so there was no award given out for rap song.
Dance Recording: Harder Better Faster Stronger - Daft Punk Electronic Dance Album: Alive 2007 - Daft Punk -Finally the grammies get it right. Score one for Robot Kind. (there's no sarcasm there whatsoever, Daft Punk is the shit).
Traditional Blues Album: One Kind Favor - B.B. King -Hey look, BB King put something out, let's give him an award.
Contemporary Blues Album: City That Care Forgot - Dr. John and The Lower 911 -Why didn't John Mayer win?
Contemporary Jazz Album: Randy in Brasil - Randy Brecker -The Brecker brothers actually aren't that bad, but there's not much to say awesomely about them either.
Jazz Vocal Album: Loverly - Cassandra Wilson -Hah, Jazz Vocals. Wait, seriously? Jazz doen't have vocals, except maybe scat (yeah, that's right, "what a wonderful world" isn't jazz, woah, I just blew your mind because I halved your knowledge of jazz.)
Jazz Instrumental Solo: BE-BOP - Terence Blanchard -so in other words, best Jazz.
Jazz Instrumental Album Individual or Group: The New Crystal Silence - Chick Corea and Gary Burton -I'm curious to know what this has to do with Scientology.
Large Jazz Ensemble Album: Monday Night Live at the Village Vanguard - The Vanguard Jazz Orchestra -I'm assumming Monday Night Live is like Monday Night Football for jazz freaks.
Traditional Folk Album: At 89 - Pete Seeger -Not actually Bob Seger's dad (see, last name spelled differently) but he's still pretty damn old. Old people deserve awards.
Contemporary Folk/Americana Album: Raising Sand - Robert Plant and Alison Krauss (Rounder) -Seriously, when you guys going on tour?
Native American Music Album: Come to Me Great Mystery: Native American Healing Songs - Various Artists) -Best pan flute solo of the year. keeps the guinea pigs away.
Hawaiian Music Album: Ikena - Tia Carrere and Daniel Ho -Holy Shit, the hot asian chick from Wayne's World made an album? (yes, that actually is her)
Zydeco or Cajun Music Album - Live at the 2008 New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival - BeauSoleil and Michael Doucet -Best Zydeco album has to be a live thing at a huge ass impersonal festival?
Engineering Album, Classical: Traditions and Transformations: Sounds of Silk Road Chicago - David Frost, Tom Lazarus and Christopher Willis -I have no idea what any of that means.
Reggae Album: Jah Is Real - Burning Spear -Wait, why can't Jason Mraz win this?
Traditional World Music Album: Ilembe: Honoring Shaka Zulu - Ladysmith Black Mambazo -I have no ill towards Ladysmith Black Mambazo at all. In addition to having the most awesome AND most badass name ever, they pretty much inspired the intro to that one song from the Lion King soundtrack, and we all know how much those 45 seconds rocl.
Contemporary World Music Album: Global Drum Project - Mickey Hart, Zakir Hussain, Sikiru Adepoju and Giovanni Hidalgo -Global Drum Project? That name wreaks of drum circle-isms. Damnit, why did hippies have to get old enough to give themselves awards? We all know there's only one thing a group of people should do in a circle, and it aint playing the drums.
Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: Juno - Various Artists -Wasn't this movie from like more than a year ago? Oh well, at least Mamma Mia! and Sweeney Todd lost. My god the music from those two movies was awful. Pierce Brosnan should never be allowed to sing ever, and Tim Burton should never be allowed to direct a musical again ever. ... wait. make that Tim Burton should never be allowed to direct again.
Score Soundtrack Album for Motion Television or Other Visual Media: The Dark Knight -Good soundtrack, so I can't really complain. Just thought the soundtracks of Iron Man and There Will Be Blood were better.
Polka Album: Let the Whole World Sing - Jimmy Sturr and His Orchestra -The music community needs more songs in 2/4 time. seriously.
Classical Album: Weill: Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny - James Conlon, conductor uhhh ok
Song Written for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: Down to Earth - WALL-E - Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Musical Show Album: In the Heights - Kurt Deutsch, Alex Lacamoire, Andres Levin, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Joel Moss and Bill Sherman, producers; Lin-Manuel Miranda, composer/lyricist -Just cos the movie sucked doesn't mean you have to drag everyone else into it.
Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Story Telling): An Inconvenient Truth (Al Gore) - Beau Bridges, Cynthia Nixon and Blair Underwood -Will this thing ever stop getting awards? The funny part -- Al Gore is never gonna get the award he really wants, being the President ...
Musical Album for Children: Here Come the 123s - They Might Be Giants -So They Might Be Giants is running for an award in a field where they're virtually uncontested? Can't we just give them the award like now?
Spoken Word Album Children: Yes to Running! Bill Harley Live - Bill Harley -Sadly, for the past 40 years the award went to "nobody defeats the Grimace"
Comedy Album: It's Bad for Ya - George Carlin -Posthumous award. Need I say more.
Instrumental Composition: The Adventures of Mutt - Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - John Williams -This movie should have been inelgible from winning any awards in anything, cos it failed at life.
Instrumental Arrangement: Define Dancing - WALL-E Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman -Wait, Peter Gabriel agreed to work on the suck fest that was WALL-E? Everything I know about Genesis (both the band and the book) is now questioned. I might have to call the sledgehammer.
Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalist(s): Here's That Rainy Day, Nan Schwartz -pat on the back
Engineered Album, Non-Classical: Consolers of the Lonely - Joe Chiccarelli, Vance Powell and Jack White III, engineers -Why is Jack White still making music? Am I really the only one questioning this? And how is it a supergroup if Jack White is the only one who was in a "super" band beforehand? The rest were either Detroit celebrities among white people or bottom rung indy performers.
Remixed Recording: Electric Feel (Justice Remix) - Justice -Congratulations. You just got an award for doing what teenagers do to internet memes on youtube and ytmnd.
Surround Sound Album: Mussorgsky: Pictures at an Exhibition; Night on Bald Mountain; Prelude to Khovanshchina - Michael Bishop -I'm gonna pretend to be offended by that album title.
Opera Recording: Weill: Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny - James Conlon, conductor -Where is this city of Mahogonny? Did it burn? Can I burn it?
Orchestral Performance: Shostakovich: Symphony No. 4 - Bernard Haitink, conductor Chicago Symphony Orchestra -BEST COVER BAND EVER!!!!
Classical Vocal Performance: Corigliano: Mr. Tambourine Man: Seven Poems of Bob Dylan - Hila Plitmann -Bob Dylan is classical music now?
Classical Contemporary Composition: Mr. Tambourine Man: Seven Poems of Bob Dylan, - John Corigliano -Since when? This kind of confuses me.
Short Form Music Video: Pork and Beans - Weezer, Mathew Cullen, -Actually wasn't a bad video, considering the song sucked. Well it was Weezer, what did you expect? Actually, I just like the fact that it featured Tay Zonday. Now, if they could just get Tay Zonday to replace Rivers Cuomo, wow, I think i just fixed Weezer.
Long Form Music Video: Runnin' Down a Dream - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers -Isn't this song from, like, the 80's? Is this like a 20th anniversary video award? Did it take them 20 years to create a supplemental video for the song?
Recording Package: Death Magnetic - Bruce Duckworth, Sarah Moffat and David Turner -Why couldn't Napster design the album cover?
Boxed or Special Limited Edition Package: "In Rainbows - Stanley Donwood, Mel Maxwell and Christiaan Munro -Actually this works, really well. It was entirely innovative, and it actually fits under both boxed and special limited edition package.
Album Notes: Kind of Blue: 50th Anniversary Collector's Edition - Francis Davis -Giving a grammy to an album everyone should already have from 50 years ago? Come on grammies. Put some effor into it.
Historical Album: Art of Field Recording Volume I: Fifty Years of Traditional American Music Documented by Art Rosenbaum - Steven Lance Ledbetter and Art Rosenbaum, compilation producers -Really? Like you couldn't give it to an album that you've forgotten and skipped over in the name of pleasing the record exec gods? Oh right, this is another way to please those very record exec gods.
And this is why the grammies are magical. They always find a way to screw it up. Oh, and don't think I actually watched them. No, I could never do that. I accidentally walked into the presentation for Best Song and had to try to make sure my dry heaves remained dry. No, I just pulled these awards off the internet from a news site, so if its screwed up, its their fault, not mine -- and no, I did not use wikipedia. I also cut out a bunch of awards, cos Latin has its own Latin grammies, Country is its own predetermined music machine, and I frankly think all modern R&B sounds the same.
Oh, and Best Heavy Metal Record Should have went to The Sword for Gods of the Earth. Or if it just goes out for singular songs, "Fire Lances of the Hyperzephyrians" video below.
It was inevitable that somebody would make them, so I am personally taking it upon myself to write them.
1. The secret to Brad Lidge's slider rests not with his grip or throwing mechanics, but rather he simply tells the balls that they are in fact, going to slide. They always listen.
2. When Brad Lidge joined the Phillies he wanted to be the best Pitcher on the team, no question, so he kicked Cole Hamels' nuts back into his body (resulting in his voice). It is, however, theorized that when Hamels' nuts re-descend, his fastball will reach 140 and his curveball will break 3 feet.
3. Brad Lidge doesn't vacuum, dirt just doesn't dare linger on his floor. (courtesy of scott)
4. Brad Lidge decided to be a closer because his batting would unusually disrupt hitting statistics as we know them.
5. Additionally, this would create pressure to make him an everyday player, and its just not fair to the other pitchers to have this man go 9 innings every game.
6. The only reason Gillick approved of sending Bourne to Houston for Lidge was because of Lidge's blinding speed. Coincidentally, Lidge is the emergency pinch runner/ fielder for both Shane Victorino and Jimmy Rollins.
7. Brad Lidge once struck out Jose Reyes without even throwing a pitch.
8. Brad Lidge gave up the Homer to Albert Pujols in the 2005 NLCS because he was bored and wanted to see if a baseball could go into outer space. Pujols gravely dissappointed Lidge.
9. Underneath Brad Lidges beard, there is not a chin, but rather a slider.
10. Pope Benny 16 is officially changing the church hymn to "Lidge takes mound, Lidge is pitching, Lidge will save again"
11. Bernie Parent recently revealed that when only the Lord saved more than he, he was actually talking about Brad Lidge.
12. Global Warming is actually caused by Lidge's slider, as the ball itself does not break, but rather he brings the earth incrementally closer to the sun (or moon for a night game). Al Gore recently proposed that the greatest cure to Global Warming would be to insure Lidge only pitches when the earth is not facing the sun.
13. Pat Burrel is incapable of hitting a breaking ball because once Lidge threw him a slider in batting practice, and he shit his pants.
14. Brad Lidges clocks set themselves. (scott)
15. Brad Lidge can fix the economy with a slider (scott)
16. The Army once inquired about the use of Lidge's slider as a deadly weapon.
17. Brad Lidge's slider doesn't negotiate with terrorists.
18. Brad Lidge has not supported any Presidential candidate because he knew he would immediately be asked to be the running mate.
19. Brad Lidge realized at an early age that his slider could be used to achieve world peace. However, he realized at an even earlier age that he hates hippies.
20. Brett Myers' wife decided not to press domestic assault charges on him because Brett was simply trying to show his wife how to throw Lidge's slider, but failed miserably.
21. One time, Brad lidge beat Babe Ruth in a Hot Dog eating contest.
22. Joe Carter's body was found dead on wednesday night. The cause of death was reportedly Brad Lidge's slider.
23. Brad Lidge orders whoppers at McDonalds, and gets them. (scott)
24. When Pedro Feliz was hurt, Charlie Manuel tried putting Brad Lidge at third. Ryan Howard needed a new glove each inning.
Ben Bernanke, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, recently posited his opinion that there should be a second effort to try and help the economy -- a stimulus package -- much like the one given around tax season as a reminder to re-elect everyone HOORAY.
The problem with that is, it simply won't work.
Though, to be fair, if the government were to give me a stimulus package, I'd be hard pressed to say no.
But the problem with this is it simply reinforces the base of American economics as a consumer market. Bad news bears.
There is a simple fact that gets in the way of this working for an entire nation. --In order for one to make a profit, someone else must lose money. A unit of currency is worth a certain value, and goods and services can be exchanged for certain amounts of said currency. Therefore certain people/groups own/control larger portions of wealth. If the number of currency in circulation does not change, then there is no chance of the nation as a whole gaining or losing money. If the amount of currency in circulation increases, then each unit of currency is devalued, and again, the nation as a whole sees no increase or decrease. Adding in international markets only pushes the dilemma onto an international scale. The World as a whole will see no increase or decrease.
Economically, a new system must start, in order for these financial woes to fix themselves. De-regulated and regulated capitalism has shown its flaws. To go to systems resembling feudalism or things prior would be preposterous. Communism/socialism only made sense as a solution to the industrial world of the 19th and early 20th centuries.
"Today I'm gonna throw at you some 8-pepper infused chili burgers, with a side of potato salad on some classic chawhola rolls" 
