BOYCOTT THE NFL

To begin, let me assure everyone, this is not because the Eagles just tied the Bungles. This is about a disease which is plaguing the entire league.

The Quarterback is being overprotected.

The quarterback can slide down anywhere on the field, instead of being tackled down, if he so chooses. The quarterback cannot be hit below the knees behind the line of scrimmage. The quarterback cannot be hit in the head behind the line of scrimmage. The quarterback cannot be hit after he releases a pass behind the line of scrimmage. Now it seems the quarterback cannot be hit at all.

WHY?!!??!?

Last time I checked, the quarterback is a normal position, just like any other position on the field. Why is he given precedence? Even as the position is slowly moving back to accepting "athletes" to play it (after the doldrums of slow qbs which hung like a parasite in the 70s and 80s), it seems the NFL is slowly rejecting the notion that these players are equals of their teammates.

Why don't we just dress all of the quarterbacks up in tutus. That way at least the other team knows they should just prance around him and tap him down, as opposed to hitting him down.

Seriously, I think at this point it would actually be manlier to sit through The Notebook than to watch any given quarter (let alone a whole game) of an NFL game.

Personally, this is not a very tough decision on my part. I had previously boycotted the last super bowl, after I decided the best result of that game would be a natural disaster to destroy the stadium and all inside. I found a good alternative in the puppy bowl, voiced by none other than the legendary Harry Kalas, who is known nationally as the voice of NFL films since '75, back when they actually played football (locally, the legendary voice of the Phillies. Side note, why the hell is he not voicing the Phillies World Series DVD? That is an outrage, and I may think about putting a bounty of Bud Selig's head for that). I've also had a personal boycott on the Madden Series, since it has become total crap since it gained the right to be the exclusive NFL game, and a boycott on Reebok's NFL gear crap, for similar reasons.

Even though my Nittany Lions are effectively out of the BCS title picture (by default of having one loss as a Big Ten team, total bullshit. Florida's loss was at home to under .500 Ole Miss, shouldn't they be disqualified?) I think I will stick to watching only NCAA football. The way of deciding the champion may not be nearly as organized and coherent, but at least I know I will be watching football when I watch one of those games, even if one or both of the teams is playing a spread offense.

I think, as it stands, Italian League soccer may actually be manlier than NFL, even with all of their dives and flops and general delays.

Think about that.

--Knuttel

and another thing -- just because someone who isn't the normal quarterback may be lined up to take a snap directly, usually from shotgun, doesn't make it a "wildcat" formation. Sometimes its just, oh I dunno, someone else lined up to take the snap from shotgun. The wildcat formation is a modern variation on a very distinct old formation called the Single Wing.