In 2 days, it is going to happen. Just 2 days.
Yeah, I know exactly what you're thinking -- "But The Knuttel, what about your boycott of the nfl? How are you going to watch the superbowl if you have a nfl boycott?"
It's really quite simple. I'm not watching the superbowl. "But what else is Sunday?"
Puppy Bowl
It really is the greatest single television event of the year.
In fact, I did it last year, when I didn't even have an nfl boycott going on. I simply did not want to watch a game in which the possibility was guaranteed that either new york or new england would win.
It is true I wanted to see the smug smile of smugness wiped off tom brady's face, but this would result in a giants victory, and I just couldn't have that either.
So I watched the puppy bowl instead.
It's practically superior in every way.
-nfl -- huge enhanced genetically modified ogres smashing eachother helmet to helmet (both of these teams are quite notorious for cheap shots courtesy of the secondary. That hit on McGahee that put him in the hospital, saw a clip of it, totally illegal).
-puppy bowl -- cute adorable puppies tumbling over eachother for chew toys.
-nfl -- Jennifer Hudson extending the national anthem to 5 minutes while putting sections out of key for "effect"
-puppy bowl -- the anthem to be sung perfectly in pitch by a parrot
-nfl -- old floppy flabby pale streakers, if any
-puppy bowl -- hairless puppy streaker
-nfl -- awful puns about football that we've heard a million times and get old quick
-puppy bowl -- awesome puns about puppies that we've heard a million times and NEVER get old
-nfl -- huge self pat on the back, courtesy of the nfl, for doing such an awesome job
- puppy bowl -- putting homeless puppies in homes. aka actually doing an awesome job
-nfl -- self-aggrandizing commentary courtesy of chris collinsworth -- who will somehow insult the eagles entire history, even though they are not playing in the game
-puppy bowl -- commentary done by Harry Kalas (Harry the K), aka the greatest announcer ever.
the choice is really quite simple. Puppy Bowl.
-- Knuttel
P.S.
If anyone should watch anything with the words "super bowl" in it, they should watch the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Super Bowl". I'd post a youtube clip, but alas, the only clip containing just something from that episode is horribly chopped up by a stoned teenager that just figured out how to use windows moviemaker (or the mac equivalent (imovie?) if applicable).
fuggit. here it is, but dont make me say I didn't warn you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2WzpGWHqyY&feature=related
This episode perhaps may be most known for the introduction of the character, Boxy Brown. That character would continue to get some of the greatest one liners ever.
1.30.2009
1.16.2009
To Mecca
Fear and Loathing in DC?
nah, I shall not steal Hunter S Thompson's title. Nor do I actually know if there will be any fear or loathing there.
But tomorrow begins my roadtrip to the Barry-O-guration (If you can't figure it out, it's the Presidential inauguration. I'm trying to get the name "Barry O" to stick).
I dunno how frequently I shall update antics, if I update them at all. But I do feel like this period of time should be recorded, at least in the slightest.
Hopefully most of it is gonna be about the actual inauguration, but then again, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was supposed to mostly be about a motorcycle race.
And to think this is likely to be the highest turnout since LBJ's record setting inauguration in '65. Good ol LBJ. I could go for an LBJ about now (lettuce, bacon, and Johnson).
Hopefully this is either great or terrible. Mediocre would be soul-crushing.
-- Knuttel
And what's up with those terrorist geese? I bet they were Canadian geese. Not even American. Friends to the north my ass.
Too soon?
Actually, wow, I feel bad about typing that, but I don't feel like going back and deleting it. meh
nah, I shall not steal Hunter S Thompson's title. Nor do I actually know if there will be any fear or loathing there.
But tomorrow begins my roadtrip to the Barry-O-guration (If you can't figure it out, it's the Presidential inauguration. I'm trying to get the name "Barry O" to stick).
I dunno how frequently I shall update antics, if I update them at all. But I do feel like this period of time should be recorded, at least in the slightest.
Hopefully most of it is gonna be about the actual inauguration, but then again, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was supposed to mostly be about a motorcycle race.
And to think this is likely to be the highest turnout since LBJ's record setting inauguration in '65. Good ol LBJ. I could go for an LBJ about now (lettuce, bacon, and Johnson).
Hopefully this is either great or terrible. Mediocre would be soul-crushing.
-- Knuttel
And what's up with those terrorist geese? I bet they were Canadian geese. Not even American. Friends to the north my ass.
Too soon?
Actually, wow, I feel bad about typing that, but I don't feel like going back and deleting it. meh
1.11.2009
Whatever happenned to homefield advantage?
Seriously, whatever happenned to it? Everywhere, in virtually every professional sport, homefield advantage just doesn't count anymore.
A huge sign of this would be the current weekend in the NFL playoffs. While I am exercising my boycott, and thus have no knowledge of the current game (Pitt/SD), I do not live in a cave; so I thusly realize that out of the three games so far, three road teams have won.
This is huge. These are playoff games. That means the road team was the team was actually deemed the worse of the two in the course of the regular season, plus, this being the second round, all of the home teams have had an extra week to rest and gameplan for this week.
And yet 3 out of 3 have lost.
Why?
Modern Sports Arenas. They're not made to create a homefield advantage anymore.
They are filled with luxury boxes and private booths. The bottom bowl of seating has shrunken dramatically to bring these boxes closer to the field of play.
Modern sports arenas try to bring the comfort of home to the game, which detracts from ones willingness to make a huge, loud, noise ruckus to disrupt the other team's train of thought etc. When I watch a game at home, sure I get excited and loud sometimes, but only in reaction to things that happen. I want to relax, not taunt the opposing team and officiating crew.
Normal people used to occupy large parts of the bottom bowl of stadiums and arenas. When they became smaller, they became something of a luxury item, a status symbol like the luxury seats. The most die-hard fans are now not the ones who get the good seats, but those who are willing/able to shell out more dollars for those seats. And if you paid good money for those seats, you'll be damned if someone else's cheering and standing up interferes with your sit down observing.
This is not secluded to professional football. While I was at the Flyers/Wild game earlier this week, I was able to see how all those in the bottom bowl, those in the boxes, those in the upper tier, and those in the uppity snobbity boxes watched the game. The bowl watched the game, but was not nearly as enthused as a Spectrum crowd would be. In fact, I hardly recall any people banging on the plexi glass. Why? It's a responsibility of the very bottom row to slam on the glass whenever any players are there, especially opposing ones.
I'm not gonna even get into that much with the two different box groups, but lets just say the very top group had tvs to watch the game (or anything else for that matter) and windows in case they didn't want to deal with the commoners. Fuggin Main-Liners.
But the only group that did seem enthused to be there was the upper tier. The cheap seats. In fact, one man in the top danced on the jumbotron for about five minutes, and then led the entire stadium in cheer. I don't think Ed Snyder would think about doing that at all. When the jumbotron prompted the crowd to be loud, they were the loudest, and didn't even need prompting. When the refs made a bad call (and there were way too many to count) they were to first to do something about it.
So why are they stuck up on the top, where their contribution means even less to the field of play?
When I was a Penn State student in the very not so distant past, I attended almost every football game. I'll admit I wasn't the most awesome and/or loyal of fan (my loyalty can never reach blindness), but I made sure at every game i did my part to make the opposing team uncomfortable, and the opposing fans regret they entered the stadium. And every other student was on that page. The students were all in the bottom bowl, which crowded the SE corner of the endzone. Not to mention the bottom bowl goes up to about 100, and that's after the entire alphabet (maybe even twice, I forget).
My point? That was homefield advantage.
I'm not advocating a stadium that is hostile to other players (and even our own), such as the Vet, Three Rivers, and the Astrodome.
I'm advocating a stadium that inspires the home crowd to piss off everyone who opposes them, not one that inspires them to relax in their seats and watch some athletes do athletic things.
update -- As I was writing this I was told the Steelers won, staving off a perfect 4-4 road trip. I think my point is still valid though.
-- Knuttel
A huge sign of this would be the current weekend in the NFL playoffs. While I am exercising my boycott, and thus have no knowledge of the current game (Pitt/SD), I do not live in a cave; so I thusly realize that out of the three games so far, three road teams have won.
This is huge. These are playoff games. That means the road team was the team was actually deemed the worse of the two in the course of the regular season, plus, this being the second round, all of the home teams have had an extra week to rest and gameplan for this week.
And yet 3 out of 3 have lost.
Why?
Modern Sports Arenas. They're not made to create a homefield advantage anymore.
They are filled with luxury boxes and private booths. The bottom bowl of seating has shrunken dramatically to bring these boxes closer to the field of play.
Modern sports arenas try to bring the comfort of home to the game, which detracts from ones willingness to make a huge, loud, noise ruckus to disrupt the other team's train of thought etc. When I watch a game at home, sure I get excited and loud sometimes, but only in reaction to things that happen. I want to relax, not taunt the opposing team and officiating crew.
Normal people used to occupy large parts of the bottom bowl of stadiums and arenas. When they became smaller, they became something of a luxury item, a status symbol like the luxury seats. The most die-hard fans are now not the ones who get the good seats, but those who are willing/able to shell out more dollars for those seats. And if you paid good money for those seats, you'll be damned if someone else's cheering and standing up interferes with your sit down observing.
This is not secluded to professional football. While I was at the Flyers/Wild game earlier this week, I was able to see how all those in the bottom bowl, those in the boxes, those in the upper tier, and those in the uppity snobbity boxes watched the game. The bowl watched the game, but was not nearly as enthused as a Spectrum crowd would be. In fact, I hardly recall any people banging on the plexi glass. Why? It's a responsibility of the very bottom row to slam on the glass whenever any players are there, especially opposing ones.
I'm not gonna even get into that much with the two different box groups, but lets just say the very top group had tvs to watch the game (or anything else for that matter) and windows in case they didn't want to deal with the commoners. Fuggin Main-Liners.
But the only group that did seem enthused to be there was the upper tier. The cheap seats. In fact, one man in the top danced on the jumbotron for about five minutes, and then led the entire stadium in cheer. I don't think Ed Snyder would think about doing that at all. When the jumbotron prompted the crowd to be loud, they were the loudest, and didn't even need prompting. When the refs made a bad call (and there were way too many to count) they were to first to do something about it.
So why are they stuck up on the top, where their contribution means even less to the field of play?
When I was a Penn State student in the very not so distant past, I attended almost every football game. I'll admit I wasn't the most awesome and/or loyal of fan (my loyalty can never reach blindness), but I made sure at every game i did my part to make the opposing team uncomfortable, and the opposing fans regret they entered the stadium. And every other student was on that page. The students were all in the bottom bowl, which crowded the SE corner of the endzone. Not to mention the bottom bowl goes up to about 100, and that's after the entire alphabet (maybe even twice, I forget).
My point? That was homefield advantage.
I'm not advocating a stadium that is hostile to other players (and even our own), such as the Vet, Three Rivers, and the Astrodome.
I'm advocating a stadium that inspires the home crowd to piss off everyone who opposes them, not one that inspires them to relax in their seats and watch some athletes do athletic things.
update -- As I was writing this I was told the Steelers won, staving off a perfect 4-4 road trip. I think my point is still valid though.
-- Knuttel
1.10.2009
Troubling news from gary bettman?
So the other week, when I submitted my voting for the NHL all-star game (yeah, it's been a while, so what), I had to go through several filters to make sure machines weren't stuffing the ballots. You know, a word is drawn on a block with lines going across it and you have to write it in a box below.
Well anyways, the machines, or maybe the Canadian mob, is conspiring against us, and using these boxes to send discreet messages to one another, using a medium that isn't checked upon by authorities.
One of my messages to type was -- "bring 15265179.47"
that is 15 million, 265 thousand, 179 dollars (possibly canadian), and 47 cents.
While the number could seemingly be random, the odds that it was paired with the verb "bring" is just too suspicious. The odds are simply too small.
We must remain vigilante.
-- Knuttel
P.S. Oh, and a write in for Jeff Carter? Seriously, I'm still pissed about this. I had to jump through a bunch of hoops just so Jeff Carter could get my vote to go to the all-star game. WTF gary bettman?
Well anyways, the machines, or maybe the Canadian mob, is conspiring against us, and using these boxes to send discreet messages to one another, using a medium that isn't checked upon by authorities.
One of my messages to type was -- "bring 15265179.47"
that is 15 million, 265 thousand, 179 dollars (possibly canadian), and 47 cents.
While the number could seemingly be random, the odds that it was paired with the verb "bring" is just too suspicious. The odds are simply too small.
We must remain vigilante.
-- Knuttel
P.S. Oh, and a write in for Jeff Carter? Seriously, I'm still pissed about this. I had to jump through a bunch of hoops just so Jeff Carter could get my vote to go to the all-star game. WTF gary bettman?
1.09.2009
First post of the new year
Hooray for 2009?
meh, on va voir
-Flyers
I had the privilege of attending last night's Flyers game. While I have been following them all year, I have not been watching games on a regular basis. Nowabouts in the season is usually when I start watching, due to the Eagles sucking it up in the playoffs. Due to my boycott, which is now a few months in effect, I haven't even been watching them recently. (Oh, but they made the playoffs! -- oh, but they TIED THE BENGALS, oh and they play in the NFL. BTW, don't want the Giants to win, but I really don't want to see the Eagles lose another NFC championship game). But the Flyers -- the real deal, McCoy. The officiating sucked major balls -- they really don't know what legal contact looks like -- killed about 8 power plays and didnt have one themselves until the 3rd. Luckily this allowed the Flyers to show off one of the best penalty kill units of the league. There was a 4 on 4 in the first, after the refs decided to break up a fight before it started. Haha, mortal fools. As soon as both players were done their "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalties, they dropped gloves at mid-ice and put up their dukes.
The Carter/Scottie line was one of the most dominant lines I've seen in a game, though the Richards line also did pretty well. Jeff Carter showed why he's going to the all-star game (though only as a reserve, cos of the massive Montreal based letter writing campaign -- really, the Canadiens have starters in this game, BS -- and because the League itself has its head so far up its ass, they couldn't even list Jeff Carter on the website for voting. That's right, you had to write him in, even though he was leading the league in goals for most of the season, and shares the tie for it now. Also, how is Mike Richards not going, he is the emotional leader of the team, much like Primeau used to be.) Anyway, Jeff Carter, Scottie Upshall, and Scottie Hartnell were involved in every single goal in some capacity -- even though statistically one of them was unassisted. They took over the game and forced the Flyers to win. Biron did pretty well on his end to make sure this happenned as well. He made some amazing saves that I thought only Nittymaki could make (though somehow this leads to Nittymaki giving up more goals).
- BSC
Or is it the BCS, or who really knows anyway. Well, put two and two together, if I was at the Flyers game, then I couldn't possibly have been watching the BCS title game (I refuse to call that abomination a national championship) unless I was in one of those snooty personal luxury club box suite. Can you even see the game up there? Do you bang on the box window instead of the front glass? Alas, I digress.
The game pitted the young and plucky Sam Bradford against He Who Is Tim Tebow. The game didn't end up the scoring affair anyone thought it would be, but it certainly didn't resemble the defensive slugfest that was Bob Stoops first (and for now, only) national championship -- Florida State's only points came on a safety. In the 4th it was tied, but eventually the mighty Tim Tebow called upon the stregnth he used to previously circumcise all the Filipino children of the world and willed his Florida team to win, on a Percy Harvin direct snap when Tebow was on the sideline.
But really, it doesn't matter. The National Title was already decided when undefeated Utah beat one loss uber SEC powerhouse (one loss there is like negative five in any other division, right?) Alabama.
The injustice? While Utah came in second in the final poll, a close second as well, the AP Coaches poll put them at 4th, behind 3 schools with one loss, and equally as strong schedules (ok, I guess I get Florida, cos they won the agreed upon game, but USC and Texas weren't even picked to play in the title game, and also had a loss). Wittingham, the coach of Utah, used his vote to vote for his own team, and rightfully so, but the irony is he may actually lose his vote in the future. You see, the coaches are, by coaches union rules or whatever, supposed to vote for the winner of the BCS game as the end of the year number 1. Hopefully the coaches will see their stupidity if they actually pursue this course of action. While Wittingham does not have the clout that JoePa has, the coaches never sought course of action against JoePa for splitting his 2004 (?) vote among the winner of the title game (USC, I think), Auburn, and Utah -- all of whom finished the year with an undefeated season and a BCS bowl victory (the title game was then simply one of the four bowls, as opposed to a separate one). Wait, so Utah's done this before? Yeah, funny thing is, the head coach then was current Florida coach Urban "I LOVE to run the score up" Meyer; guess a florida coach just has to do it.
- Politics
Uh-oh, Barry O has some trouble in paradise already!
-Bill Richardson, a man several times passed over for positions in the last year (President, Vice President, Secretary of State, Secretary of Treasury) has decided to drop his name from nomination for Secretary of Commerce, and return to being Governor of New Mexico due to allegations of pay-to-play politics in his home state (so this sort of thing happens outside of Chicago?). The charges against him are kinda weak, which means he probably just didn't want to be Secretary of Commerce. That, or the liberal media is making a molehill out of a mountain, and this is actually a big fuggin deal. No way to tell until the investigation is over, but the position of Governor of any state, besides Alaska, is a higher position than Secretary of Commerce. Everyone knows that.
-Pannetta to be head of CIA
Fwahhhhhh????
I really don't get this at all. The man has no experience in any intelligence bureau at all, not even as like a clerk or secretary (like a real secretary, not that secretary of whatever shit).
-Who is Hilldawg's Senate successor?
We all know she didn't really want to be Senator of NY anyway, and her Chapaqua residence was about as flimsy as they come, but who's gonna be her successor?
Could it be Caroline Kennedy, whos credentials include -- being a Kennedy?
Or Andrew Cuomo, whos credentials include -- being a Cuomo, and married to a Kennedy?
wait, seriously, its pretty much down to these two? I thought we were done with the Kennedies.
Where's Lee Harvey Oswalt when you need him? too soon?
Damnit, can't take it back now.
-- Knuttel
meh, on va voir
-Flyers
I had the privilege of attending last night's Flyers game. While I have been following them all year, I have not been watching games on a regular basis. Nowabouts in the season is usually when I start watching, due to the Eagles sucking it up in the playoffs. Due to my boycott, which is now a few months in effect, I haven't even been watching them recently. (Oh, but they made the playoffs! -- oh, but they TIED THE BENGALS, oh and they play in the NFL. BTW, don't want the Giants to win, but I really don't want to see the Eagles lose another NFC championship game). But the Flyers -- the real deal, McCoy. The officiating sucked major balls -- they really don't know what legal contact looks like -- killed about 8 power plays and didnt have one themselves until the 3rd. Luckily this allowed the Flyers to show off one of the best penalty kill units of the league. There was a 4 on 4 in the first, after the refs decided to break up a fight before it started. Haha, mortal fools. As soon as both players were done their "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalties, they dropped gloves at mid-ice and put up their dukes.
The Carter/Scottie line was one of the most dominant lines I've seen in a game, though the Richards line also did pretty well. Jeff Carter showed why he's going to the all-star game (though only as a reserve, cos of the massive Montreal based letter writing campaign -- really, the Canadiens have starters in this game, BS -- and because the League itself has its head so far up its ass, they couldn't even list Jeff Carter on the website for voting. That's right, you had to write him in, even though he was leading the league in goals for most of the season, and shares the tie for it now. Also, how is Mike Richards not going, he is the emotional leader of the team, much like Primeau used to be.) Anyway, Jeff Carter, Scottie Upshall, and Scottie Hartnell were involved in every single goal in some capacity -- even though statistically one of them was unassisted. They took over the game and forced the Flyers to win. Biron did pretty well on his end to make sure this happenned as well. He made some amazing saves that I thought only Nittymaki could make (though somehow this leads to Nittymaki giving up more goals).
- BSC
Or is it the BCS, or who really knows anyway. Well, put two and two together, if I was at the Flyers game, then I couldn't possibly have been watching the BCS title game (I refuse to call that abomination a national championship) unless I was in one of those snooty personal luxury club box suite. Can you even see the game up there? Do you bang on the box window instead of the front glass? Alas, I digress.
The game pitted the young and plucky Sam Bradford against He Who Is Tim Tebow. The game didn't end up the scoring affair anyone thought it would be, but it certainly didn't resemble the defensive slugfest that was Bob Stoops first (and for now, only) national championship -- Florida State's only points came on a safety. In the 4th it was tied, but eventually the mighty Tim Tebow called upon the stregnth he used to previously circumcise all the Filipino children of the world and willed his Florida team to win, on a Percy Harvin direct snap when Tebow was on the sideline.
But really, it doesn't matter. The National Title was already decided when undefeated Utah beat one loss uber SEC powerhouse (one loss there is like negative five in any other division, right?) Alabama.
The injustice? While Utah came in second in the final poll, a close second as well, the AP Coaches poll put them at 4th, behind 3 schools with one loss, and equally as strong schedules (ok, I guess I get Florida, cos they won the agreed upon game, but USC and Texas weren't even picked to play in the title game, and also had a loss). Wittingham, the coach of Utah, used his vote to vote for his own team, and rightfully so, but the irony is he may actually lose his vote in the future. You see, the coaches are, by coaches union rules or whatever, supposed to vote for the winner of the BCS game as the end of the year number 1. Hopefully the coaches will see their stupidity if they actually pursue this course of action. While Wittingham does not have the clout that JoePa has, the coaches never sought course of action against JoePa for splitting his 2004 (?) vote among the winner of the title game (USC, I think), Auburn, and Utah -- all of whom finished the year with an undefeated season and a BCS bowl victory (the title game was then simply one of the four bowls, as opposed to a separate one). Wait, so Utah's done this before? Yeah, funny thing is, the head coach then was current Florida coach Urban "I LOVE to run the score up" Meyer; guess a florida coach just has to do it.
- Politics
Uh-oh, Barry O has some trouble in paradise already!
-Bill Richardson, a man several times passed over for positions in the last year (President, Vice President, Secretary of State, Secretary of Treasury) has decided to drop his name from nomination for Secretary of Commerce, and return to being Governor of New Mexico due to allegations of pay-to-play politics in his home state (so this sort of thing happens outside of Chicago?). The charges against him are kinda weak, which means he probably just didn't want to be Secretary of Commerce. That, or the liberal media is making a molehill out of a mountain, and this is actually a big fuggin deal. No way to tell until the investigation is over, but the position of Governor of any state, besides Alaska, is a higher position than Secretary of Commerce. Everyone knows that.
-Pannetta to be head of CIA
Fwahhhhhh????
I really don't get this at all. The man has no experience in any intelligence bureau at all, not even as like a clerk or secretary (like a real secretary, not that secretary of whatever shit).
-Who is Hilldawg's Senate successor?
We all know she didn't really want to be Senator of NY anyway, and her Chapaqua residence was about as flimsy as they come, but who's gonna be her successor?
Could it be Caroline Kennedy, whos credentials include -- being a Kennedy?
Or Andrew Cuomo, whos credentials include -- being a Cuomo, and married to a Kennedy?
wait, seriously, its pretty much down to these two? I thought we were done with the Kennedies.
Where's Lee Harvey Oswalt when you need him? too soon?
Damnit, can't take it back now.
-- Knuttel
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