Guy Fieri: NBC REALLY Could Care Less About What They Put On TV

So the whole Leno/Conan thing has played out, partially at least, and has proven that while Leno may be an asshole and incompetent, really it is the Producers at NBC who are incompetent assholes.

Case in point: tonight's (Sunday) new program

I really don't care enough to know the actual title of the show, but I'll say all that needs to be said -- Guy Fieri; game show host.

I should also mention at this time that this show contains no cooking whatsoever (at least on purpose, I do suppose incidental cooking may happen). At least when NBC game Emeril his own show in 2001 (full disclosure, i actually like Emeril and his cooking/cooking programs) it was a sitcom that was about his life as a chef (I think, I only really watched an episode or two, hey, "Emeril Live" was on).

This proves my theory that guy fieri knows little to nothing about cooking. He does seem to be able to turn knobs to operate ranges and ovens, but it's hard to tell if he knows what he's doing with it.


"Today I'm gonna throw at you some 8-pepper infused chili burgers, with a side of potato salad on some classic chawhola rolls"

"This appears to be a burnt meat patty on a chewy roll with a tub of mayonaise sitting next to it"

"And to go with it, I know y'all like whiskey sours, so how 'bout we add some grenadine and pineapple juice to it"

"Fuck"

-- Just a typical scene from his "cooking" show (I put it in quotes because half the show seems to be devoted to taking a fruity, girly drink, somehow making it girlier, and claiming it goes with the "meal" he's creating).

Moving on.

He doesn't really know what he's doing inside a kitchen, but it's clear the man eats, so they decide to send him on a trip to lots of backwater local "diners, drive-ins, and dives" and watch him pig out. Seriously, the man will eat anything.



"The secret, guy, is instead of using 4 slices of bacon on our burgers, we use 6. We also mix some lard in the ground beef to make it juicier"

"Oh man, I can tell, it really makes a difference. I'll take 5"

"Umm, what about the rest of our menu?"

"Oh we got time, we'll get there, no worries"

--Again, typical.

Notice the backwards sunglasses, to scare off the ghosts of animals who swore to haunt him once they found out what would be done with their meat. Some corn too, I hear that stuff walks nowadays. Regardless, you know they're no longer gonna be transparent once they go over his eyes due to all the hair gel and bleach residue. It's really a deadly combination.

Maybe it's just his personality and his dress. He comes off as that loud fat kid who tried being likable by wearing gaudy clothes and having eating contests with himself.



"Check it, son, I'm on my A-game. I just ate 2 whole pizzas in 10 minutes. Man, I am gonna slow dance with so many girls tonight. Yo, dudes, "Halo" at my place later? Cool, cool."

--How I imagine his thought process goes.

Maybe I'm just curious, how has he become a face of America, and how serious is the threat he may become the face of America.

-- Knuttel

P.S. how did he manage to make goatees more douchey? I'm actually kind of impressed by that.